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I Love New York

27 May, 2007 (00:37) | Internet | By: cmb

I, like all right thinking people, detest reality television. However, there is one show in particular that I have an interest in, and it hasn’t even been filmed yet. The show is called “I Love New York 2″, and appears to be the sequel to some sort of supremely craptastic television where five narcissistic pretty boys “battled for the chance to date ‘New York’ “. As far as I can tell, ‘New York’ is some utterly worthless American reality television ’star’. Anyway, it was popular enough that they’re making a sequel.

So why am I interested in this show? Well, VH1 decided to allow anybody to upload audition videos to the internet and then let the public vote on who gets to be on TV. So far the field is being whittled down from thousands to the final twenty applicants, let’s take a look at the frontrunners. You might notice that one in particular doesn’t seem to fit in (click for full size):

firemanlist.jpg

(I’ll give you a clue, it’s the fat ginger guy wearing the dirty Iron Maiden t-shirt, giant beard and smoking).

Yes! The denizens of various internet forums have picked somebody who is utterly, utterly unsuitable be on the show and propelled him through the rankings, there are Facebook groups, MySpace groups, Digg campaigns, YTMND’s and he is even mentioned in the Wikipedia article

TheFireman is brilliant! Here are a couple of videos he has uploaded:

  • Video 1: TheFireman proves that is a patriot by downing cans of cheap beer and listening to Hulk Hogan’s pop single, Real American
  • Video 2: TheFireman is a failure at life

When you compare him to the other contestants (who film themselves pumping iron, talking about true love and what sort of car they own) he begins to shine as even more of a diamond amongst the muck. His response to all the criticism he has been getting from the ‘target market’ for a show like Who Loves New York 2:

I’ve gotten a lot of what you might call “hate mail.” I respect everyones opinion here, as much as they be illiterate and semi-retarded. However, I think a song written by one of my favorite bands of all time, Children of Bodom, captures this sentiment best:

I was born in ashes of molten hatred
Raised by the demons in abodes of the end
The Reaper’s scythe I fall upon to light my path
Wrecked by mangled wounds of life
I have become the resurrection of the evil one
‘Y know that I don’t fucking care If I live or die

I need a bishop preaching fire to get away with my sins
I despise everything I see

Ain’t got respect for humanity

I just hope this guy gets on the show. He would provide enough drama and humour that I might even watch an episode. Somehow I feel it’s a bit of a stretch that the show’s “african american princess” is going to pick him as her true love, but he really should be given a chance to try. For the sake of the nation.

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