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A while back I had a whole bunch of blog posts on crimes I thought people should be allowed to get away with, here is an addition to that series. (from
here)

RED DEER, Alta. (CP) — A Red Deer man has been jailed after an outraged burglar spotted massive amounts of child pornography on his computer and called police.

Cpl. Greg Brown of Red Deer City RCMP said outside the court that the burglary remains unsolved.

The story simultaneously repulses me and makes me happy. If somebody who is desperate enough to be breaking into the houses of others can give up what they were essentially risking their life for (money) in order to correct a wrong like this then maybe there is hope for society after all.

If it was me then I’d have removed the digital tape from the camera and left only that on the church doorsteps. Just sayin’. I may have morals but I’m not giving back the fruits of my nightly labour unnecessarily.

I’m additionally intrigued by the child-pornographer’s name, could it possibly be the same William Mitchell as the guy sending around incoherent emails about how the big bang was wrong?

There is something too poetic about that for it to be true.

Maybe.

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Sometimes I hear about crimes that I wish people had got away with and post them here, search the archives for more examples. This one isn’t quite in that category because these two guys are complete bastards and they deserve whatever is coming their way. In short:
Police in Berlin said on Wednesday they had arrested two men on suspicion of placing cement-filled soccer balls around the city and inviting people to kick them.

Let me get one thing straight: I don’t think it’s funny to set up a trap that could potentially hurt an innocent passerby. At the same time the defendant’s cold-hearted, sociopathic, almost retarded (practical joke|assault weapon) amuses me very much.

Link to full story here

late edit: I also (finally) have a few more things I’m interested in writing about so hopefully in the near future this blog will get interesting again

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I’m not really sure if this one even counts as a crime but it is pretty awesome:

The "ghost" of Suri has been put to rest. After scaring people in several villages in Suri, the Birbhum district headquarters, the police managed to catch hold of the "ghost" a pigeon with a plastic skull hanging from its neck and red bulbs around the eye-sockets.

Police officers said the bird was probably being used to create panic but there are no answers as to why anyone would do so. “This shows how birds and animals can be used for creating panic.

The long and the short of it is that a man terrified an entire village by putting red lights on a pigeon (here)

I’d like to go to India to see what sort of panic I could cause with other animals. If a pigeon could do this, I could probably rule the whole country by sellotaping a flashlight to a housecat or painting a hamster red.

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Part three in my series of crimes that people deserve to get away with is here. In summary:

A GANG of anarchist Robin Hood-style thieves, who dress as superheroes and steal expensive food from exclusive restaurants and delicatessens to give to the poor, are being hunted by police in the German city of Hamburg.

The gang members seemingly take delight in injecting humour into their raids, which rely on sheer numbers and the confusion caused by their presence. After they plundered Kobe beef fillets, champagne and smoked salmon from a gourmet store on the exclusive Elbastrasse, they presented the cashier with a bouquet of flowers before making their getaway.

What can I say? These guys are 110% awesome. I imagine that their heists look a little like this

Well… obviously you’ve got to swap the viking on a horse for a shop assistant, and the forest for a shop, and Robin Hood for a bunch of german anarchists, and the knight riding behind them for… oh fuck it. It’s not really the same at all, is it? I just wanted an excuse to post that picture.

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Another one for the ‘crazy-bastards-comitting-awesome crimes’ file. Original news story here.

Officers used a stun gun to take a Michigan man into custody after he attempted to fight them off with medieval weaponry, according to police.

“One of the statements that he made is that, ‘I got 1,000 years of power. Come and get me,’” said Deputy Chief Chris Jahnke, of the Royal Oak Police Department. “And they looked down and he has this metal chain (and a) mesh guard (or) vest on, along with these leather gauntlets on his arms.”

Evidently 1,000 years of power aren’t enough to become immune to the effects of stun guns. The thing that really makes this crime awesome though is what the perpetrator looks like:

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Sometimes I hear about a crime so audacious (or retarded) that deep down I really want the criminal to get away with it. This is one such example:


Man on Horse and Cart Escapes Police

I have visions of Steptoe hammering down the motorway on his rag and bone cart, shaking his bony fist at the pursuing cars and screaming “you’ll never take me alive copper!”

Another man who lived the dream was Marvin Heemeyer, the creator of the totally awesome (and sadly suicidal) KILLDOZER

edit to add: Tribute to the Killdozer

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